The Tantra and BDSM world. What to do?

Tantra and BDSM world is a large one. It can be confusing and overwhelming with everything out there, and all the different styles of practitioners out there, and what they offer. I get it! I will do my best here to keep it simple for you.

Let's pretend you know nothing about the work you do, and you are explaining it to someone who knows nothing about YOUR vocation. You want to widen the subject using words you think will best relay a simple message that the one hearing it will grasp. When you notice that they are grasping it, you then take it down a notch and relay a message closer to 'home'.

Like when an electrician describes how electricity works behind the scenes, which is unseen to you, yet he can explain it in such a way that you are able to comprehend. You may not understand completely, but you can grasp the basics of it. As such, when I describe Tantra, I widen the words before I bring it closer to you in the hopes you will grasp some of what I say.

Man's hand holding a rope

Tantra and the BDSM world

Your first impressions are usually the extreme ones that you first come across on the internet. Remember that anything you read was written by a human. Some is correct. Some is not. Some people like to take the extreme route and make it all about that, when that is the furthest thing from the truth. There is always more to the story than what meets the eye. Just like when you see two people who you think have the 'perfect' relationship, that is never the full story of what goes on behind closed doors. Our perception of someone, or something, is more often than not, not true. And in so, it is with Tantra and BDSM.

Tantra: Your First Impressions

So what is YOUR first impression of Tantra? Are you looking at it as a sexual service? Are you looking at it as a spiritual experience? Are you looking at it as a form of therapy to release trauma? Are you looking at it to help you raise awareness of who you truly are? Think about it. Where is your mind when reading about Tantra?

My focus derives from both eastern and western cultures. I understand that the body is sacred and that all parts of the body need nourished. The sensitivities all over our skin can give us pleasure or pain. And we know the difference.

BDSM

BDSM is another way to experience higher awareness, a healing journey, and/or just fun to get away and relieve some stress from our daily life. Some live their life in this world. For others, it's merely an outlet to express some freedom. I personally think everyone should have at least one experience of BDSM work.

Let's explain this further by breaking the BDSM acronym down. B stands for bondage. D stands for domination. S stands for submission and sadism. M stands for masochism. Keep in mind that just because someone works or partakes in the BDSM realm, it does not mean they partake in all aspects of it.

The key to this is always about consent. Weather it’s in the BDSM world, or the Tantra world. We all know that everyone is different in what they like, and don't like. One's desires can vary significantly. Some want, and actually need to be submissive, but absolutely want no part of sadism. And that is all okay!!

Bondassage

Bondassage is an aspect of BDSM. As the name implies, Bondassage includes bondage and massage. The wrists and ankles are bound to a massage table or a cross. It is a mix of bondage and massage. Several types of tools can be used. Such as floggers, whips, rope, hot wax, and nipple clamps. Many at-home items we all have may be a hair brush, bobby pins, a flyswatter (clean of course), a drying towel, an exfoliating glove. The list is endless.

Taken from Wikipedia

Bondage, in the BDSM subculture, is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation. A partner may be physically restrained in a variety of ways, including the use of rope, cuffs, bondage tape, or a self-adhering bandage. Bondage itself does not necessarily imply sadomasochism. Bondage may be used as an end in itself, as in the case of rope bondage and breast bondage. It may also be used as a part of sex or in conjunction with other BDSM activities. The letter "B" in the acronym "BDSM" comes from the word "bondage".^[1] Sexuality and erotica are an important aspect of bondage, but are often not the end in itself.

Aesthetics also plays an important role in bondage. A common reason for the active partner to tie up their partner is so both may gain pleasure from the restrained partner's submission and the feeling of the temporary transfer of control and power. For sadomasochistic people, bondage is often used as a means to an end, where the restrained partner is more accessible to other sadomasochistic behaviour. However, bondage can also be used for its own sake. The restrained partner can derive sensual pleasure from the feeling of helplessness and immobility, and the active partner can derive visual pleasure and satisfaction from seeing their partner tied up.

Pros and Cons

Since I am no expert in BDSM, please read this article from SexPaddle

The best decision you can make for yourself, is to read and watch a multitude of articles and videos to gain knowledge and understanding of the broadness of what both BDSM and the Tantra world offer.

Warmly,

Priestess Goddess Maggie